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How to Avoid Being Overwhelmed by Your Emotions

Relationship disagreement might be tough to manage if you are easily overwhelmed emotionally. When you become irritated with your lover, you do not handle it well. You’re too agitated to think straight. So you establish a habit of doing the incorrect thing, which only makes matters worse. Your marital issues, like your emotions, spiral out of control.

But this does not have to be the case. The solution to this problem, like any other, is to get to know it better. Though it may appear counterintuitive, this means you should become closer to your emotions rather than separate yourself from them.


When your emotions are severe, they can overpower your intellect, as I explain in my book Bouncing Back from Rejection. Then you can’t simply flip off the emotional component of your brain like a light switch.

“Scientists have discovered something that can occasionally work like one – or at least like a dimmer switch.” Identifying and categorizing your emotions can excite your prefrontal cortex while lowering activity in your amygdala [the region of the brain that handles emotions].
Simply put, labelling your feelings makes you feel less emotionally reactive. Importantly, you can still acknowledge and feel your feelings, but they don’t take over your brain or your emotions.”

By practice, you can improve your ability to label your feelings. Consciously choose to pay attention to your feelings and reflect on them. If you have trouble identifying your emotions (as many people do), you might want to look over a list of emotions like this one. Print the list and keep it nearby so you may refer to it at any time.


You gain more self-awareness of your emotions by learning to categorize them. Then, in response to this insight, you may help yourself and your relationship. You might show compassion to yourself for your difficulties, and you could also attempt to settle disagreements with your partner. Make an effort to pay attention to both your happy and negative feelings. This way, you can be sure to strike a balance between attempting to fix difficulties in your relationship and appreciating and enjoying time with your partner.


In fact, recent study emphasizes the necessity of learning to attend to all emotions, not just the negative ones, because people who focus primarily on painful feelings are more likely to feel adverse.


Remember to connect with your emotions as you recognize and label them. This entails truly feeling them as opposed to simply naming them. For example, you might cry or feel a heaviness in your heart rather than express your sadness outright, just as you might comment on the weather. You will be well on your way to responding to your emotions in a healthier way if you name, feel, and accept them rather than denying, fighting against, or feeling overwhelmed by them.


You will discover that you can respond to your grief with self-compassion, just as you would if someone you care about was in emotional pain. You will automatically talk to and treat yourself more compassionately and supportively. You will be able to respond to your partner with a greater understanding if you feel more emotionally anchored. While a result, you and your partner can continue to cultivate a tighter relationship even as you work through problems and challenging situations.

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